TJ Dawe, Canadian writer, performer and director. | Photo by David Morris

As a writer, performer and director, TJ Dawe discovers himself through many of his autobiographical works. Medicine, Dawe’s 12th one-man show, to be held for the second time at the Firehall Arts Centre from January 14 to 25, will present Dawe’s experience of joining a retreat led by addictions physician Dr. Gabor Maté.

In the retreat, participants ingest the Amazonian psychotropic plant medicine ayahausca (ah-yuh-wah-skuh). Participants are challenged, through Maté’s guidance, to discover their core issues and questions.

What led to Medicine

Dawe’s discovery of the retreat led by Gabor Maté had a fateful beginning. Dawe, who was first introduced to the work and books of Maté through a recommendation, says he found Maté’s work to be fascinating.

“He [Maté] has this book about addiction. I’m not addicted to anything, but it still spoke to me.” says Dawe.

Dawe recommended Maté’s books to his family members and they all started reading them. Dawe says that this facilitated communication within his family like never before. He then decided to write a show about it and he invited Maté to see it.

According to Dawe, Maté was delighted and enjoyed the show. The addictions physician also pointed out that Dawe himself might have an interal issue yet to be discovered.

“He [Maté] got a sense from watching the show that I was interested in finding out the truth, whether the truth is what I wanted to hear or not. And under the right circumstances, that’s what ayahausca can do for a person” says Dawe.

Maté indicated that Dawe might get something very valuable from ingesting ayahausca, so Dawe decided to try it without doing prior research on this psychotropic medicine.

“I just plunged in. Intuitively it felt like the right thing to do,” he says.

Exploring the core issue

Dawe said that the effects of ingesting ayahausca were physically and mentally grueling for him. However, he does not regret the decision. Rather, he described the experience as so profound and life-changing that he felt moved to write a show detailing the experience.

“I went through some of the most difficult times of my life on that retreat. But maybe what I got out of it was proportionate to how difficult it was,” he says.

Dawe explains that his issue, in general terms, is a profound sense of social alienation. However, through performing Medicine and engaging with people who come to the show, he feels liberated and accepted.

“That sense of alienation just isn’t there because people are there with me and the rejection I feared my entire life clearly isn’t there,” says Dawe.

Integrating the experience

Although Dawe had ingested ayahausca during the retreat led by Maté and participated in another retreat this past October, ingesting the African plant medicine iboga, he says psychedelic drugs are something he has never taken lightly.

“It’s not been a frequent form of recreation or intoxication or exploration because it’s always been tremendously intense and potentially life changing for me,” says Dawe.

The real challenge, Dawe explains, is integrating the experience after the retreat is over so it doesn’t become an event one slightly remembers or doesn’t remember.

Dawe mentions that although his biggest goal is to take the audience on a ride through Medicine, he also hopes the audience will be encouraged to discover their own hidden issues and also be open to the potential of ayahausca.

“I would love if people would be encouraged to delve into their own issues, their own soul, and their own life and see some part of themselves reflected [in the show]. Thirdly, I would love if more people knew about this [ayahausca] as a therapeutic potential,” Dawe says.

Medicine will be playing
at the Firehall Arts Centre
Jan. 14–25.