Photo by Phalinn Ooi

For some, strong family ties help navigate multi-ethnic cultural identities through thick and thin.

As David Ng of Love Intersections, a multicultural film project that talks about language, love and diverse communities, and local poet Renée Saklikar explain, family is at the heart of their stories about unique upbringings and the change they’d like to see.

A normal life?

“I was who I was. My family kind of went along with it – not to say it was smooth sailing. We had conversations along the way and I had a lot of support around me,” says Ng, “co-conspirator” of Love Intersections.

Ng, 29, says he always knew he was gay. He was comfortable with his sexuality and didn’t feel the need to come out.

“Being a gay Christian Chinese-Canadian has had its challenges and being a part of an advocacy organization [in school] was a really empowering thing for me, and that’s why I got interested in women’s studies and the anti-oppression movement,” says Ng.

He completed his undergrad in women’s studies at Simon Fraser University and graduate studies in social movement building at the University of Cape Town, South Africa.

Ng’s mother was born in Cranbrook and his father came to Canada at the age of 15 – both are of Hong Kong ancestry. Ng has always had a strong relationship with his parents – something he says he’s forged since he was 13 or 14 years old.

“They wanted the best for me, to lead a normal life. My attraction to the same sex kind of threw that out the window,” says Ng.

Ng also acknowledges the unique situation: “the norm was Chinese” when he was growing up in Vancouver in the 1990s. He says half, if not more, of the student population at his high school were descendants of people from Hong Kong.

“My grandmother and aunts have been living here for over 50 years and barely speak English. There are a lot of places where people speak [only] Chinese. The numbers do make a difference and I don’t think that’s a bad thing,” says Ng.

Changing lenses

During his time as a student at SFU, Ng says a story published regarding the strict expectations Asian parents have for their children created a lot of controversial discussion.

“When you’re talking to immigrants, families who are escaping histories of war, when you’re coming here to start a new life and you’ve uprooted your entire family, you’re doing everything you can for your children to have a brighter future. There’s a very intense love,” says Ng, who cites his family as an example.

Ng says his relationship with Canada is a complicated one. He thinks about what has happened with race relations south of the border with Black Lives Matter. Ng says a lot of civil rights have been achieved under the law but we still have a long way to go.

“It’s interesting when people of colour, immigrants, when we talk about the difficulties of ‘coming out’ to our families, it’s immediately racialized. The same thing happens in white families, it’s just not a race issue,” says Ng.

Love Intersections is an organization that encourages people to talk about the stereotypes they may have about queer people of colour and challenging the general view of how Asians do things, says Ng. He is also a facilitator with Out in School, an organization that goes into high schools and other places to speak about homophobia, transphobia, bullying and oppression.

The protective bubble

David Ng, research associate and gender justice lead outreach coordinator. | Photo courtesy of David Ng

Born in Pune, India, Renée Saklikar immigrated to Canada with her family when she was six months old. Saklikar’s own upbringing meant traveling and living in most parts of this country.

“Whenever someone says ‘I’m from here or I was born here,’ I’m deeply intrigued because I could never say that,” says Saklikar.

She’s the first poet Laureate of the City of Surrey and author of Children of Air India: Un/authorized Exhibits and Interjections (a poetry collection) and thecanadaproject – a creative writing project about place, identity and language.

Saklikar’s father, who was originally of Hindu faith, converted to Christianity and eventually became a well-known minister in Canada.

Her parents were moderately well-off in India and received their education in English schools, she says. They also got married against their parents’ wishes.

“Canada was the promised land and they wanted to embrace the Canadian experience,” says Saklikar.

Saklikar’s parents brought her and her sister up to speak English, not Gujarati – Saklikar’s mother’s native language. During her childhood and upbringing, Saklikar says she felt protected, as if she lived in a kind of bubble.

“I had a place. I was the minister’s daughter. My parents were very involved in the community and we all kind of knew each other and hung out,” she says.

Saklikar’s mother and father loved to cook. Growing up, Saklikar recalls people enjoyed coming over to sample the different cuisines her parents would make.

“We had the best of both worlds in that way,” she says. She adds that the New Westminster of today is different from the one she knew growing up. These days, it’s much more multi-ethnic (more Filipinos, Caribbean people), younger and hipper.

For the poet whose first language is English, Saklikar asks the questions “What does it mean to be Canadian? To be human or a citizen in this world today? To be an insider versus an outsider?”

Ultimately, she feels diversity is healthy.

“I’m writing in English but I’m often thinking in a dysphoric identity or of issues regarding settlement and identity, fitting in and not fitting in,” says Saklikar.

For more information: loveintersections.com and thecanadaproject.wordpress.com