Staceyann Chin was a ‘barrel child,’ one of the many Caribbean-born children who, in the 20th century, were left behind by parents who pursued opportunities abroad to better support their children. But these children were restricted from entering Canada alongside their parents due to baked-in immigration restrictions.

Laurie Townshend’s documentary film, A Mother Apart, to be screened at the Vancouver Queer Film Festival (VQFF), offers a poignant reflection on motherhood, separation and healing. It highlights the story of Chin, a Jamaica-born, New York-based LGBTQ+ activist – and now a mother herself – as she searches worldwide to reconnect with her mother.

While Townshend was originally looking to spotlight the lives of 4 different activist mothers for her latest film, her discussions with Chin revealed that a dedicated documentary to Chin’s story would be necessary to do it justice, as she began the search for her mother.

“The story was unfolding in real time,” says Townshend. “COVID hit and her mother went off the grid, and she didn’t know where she was. So, this sense of, once again, being in a stance of having to reach for her mother, this one-sided attempt to narrow this distance, this has been the theme of her whole relationship with her mother since she was nine.”

A journey undertaken

Townshend has long felt a connection to the stories she’s sought to share in her film-making practise, and that personal connection to the storytelling extends as deep as ever with A Mother Apart for the Toronto-based director.

Not only is there that typically close connection between a documentary film subject and the director spotlighting their life and journey, but there is also a set of shared identities between the two who are both Black queer women with roots in Jamaica. Townshend says that prior to filming, conversations around motherhood also emerged, highlighting both the similarities and differences between her and Chin.

“I was also thinking about having a child, actively trying to have a child at the time and it wasn’t working… and I was really curious as to what kind of mother I would be,” says Townshend. “My mom didn’t abandon me, but there were certainly conversations Staceyann and I had about emotional abandonment and the effects of immigration on Jamaican or Caribbean parents.”

As pandemic-era travel restrictions eased, Townshend and Chin set off on a journey spanning Montreal, New York, Zurich and Jamaica. In A Mother Apart, Chin searches for answers in pursuit of discovering the whereabouts of her mother while the film documents moments revealing the emotional and circumstantial challenges of searching for answers.

By the end, the director says that a healing journey has taken place, but perhaps without a “bow” to tie things up with. However, she says that that’s a big part of what audiences so resonated with most.

“Someone said to me, recently, that they ended up having more questions than answers at the end of this film. And they were actually more than okay with that,” says Townshend. “Because it was refreshing in a way to understand, or to have a film reflect, how much of a cycle healing can be and how non-linear it is.”

Once a prospective mother herself, Townshend says she was deeply surprised with her own takeaway from the filming and storytelling experience. As she wrapped up filming, she emerged with a new, deeper understanding of what it means to love and to care.

“I learned, fairly close to the time we wrapped, that for me it was never about being a mother to somebody else,” she says. “I didn’t necessarily know the full extent of my heart’s desires, because I didn’t really know myself… I had heard and read Audre Lorde’s words that it’s possible for us to mother ourselves. But I don’t think I ever really knew what she meant until I went through the process of making this film.”

A Mother Apart will be screened at the VIFF Centre on Sept 19, along with an array of other films highlighting the diversity of queer life, love and experience.

For more information about A Mother Apart and VQFF, visit: https://outonscreen.com/vqff-event/a-mother-apart