
Erik Koivunen and Bea Lumme. | Photo courtesy of Bea Lumme
“It’s not just for your significant other,” adds Lumme. “It’s a day to appreciate everyone who is close to you and who you love.”
The value of honesty
Established in 1971, the VFC promotes Finnish culture in BC through social events, including the upcoming Laskiainen (Shrove Tuesday). Held in collaboration with the Finnish House Society at the Scandinavian Community Centre on March 2, Laskiainen involves eating soup, rye bread and pancakes as well as enjoying a mobile sauna – a perfect setting for promoting the Finnish understanding of friendship as a deep, honest and long-lasting bond.
“You’ll tell [friends] your deepest, darkest secrets,” Lumme adds. “If you need something, or if you’re down in your life, you know they’ll be there for you, through thick and thin.”
Lumme spent the first 16 years of her life on the Finnish countryside before relocating to Vancouver. She recalls celebrating Friend’s Day in school by wearing a crafted heart around the neck and hugging friends who would sign the heart. In adulthood, Finns commemorate the day by wishing each other “Happy Friend’s Day” through appreciative text messages – a custom that spans generations.
“[My dad is] almost 60, and even his friends will text him, ‘Happy Friend’s Day,’” she shares. “We don’t think of it as a big, big deal, it’s just a nice day to remember our friends and appreciate them.”
Lumme adds that Friend’s Day is far less commercialized than Valentine’s Day. The celebrations reflect the Finnish approach to expressing care: one that is subtly sentiment but deeply honest and meaningful. Remarking on Vancouverites’ liberal use of “I love you” even with friends, she notes that Finnish people could go an entire lifetime without uttering the phrase.
“We prefer that when you say something, you really mean it,” adds Erik Koivunen, Lumme’s partner. “If we say something, we mean it, and that’s it.”
Another cultural difference is the level of formality when making plans: Vancouverites tend to decide on an activity ahead of time, whereas Finns take a more casual approach. Lumme recalls how some of her hangouts in Finland simply involved going over to a friend’s place and sitting there, sometimes without even talking.
Koivunen, who recently moved to Vancouver from Finland, adds that Finns do not need a particular reason to spend time with friends. They both remark that honesty is the foundation of a Finnish friendship – a Finnish friend can be trusted to share their true thoughts.
From friendliness to friendships
For Antonio Oquendo, treasurer of the Venezuelan Canadian Society of British Columbia (VCSBC),
Friend’s Day is a chance to commemorate the love between friends. He remembers celebrating the holiday at school where children would bring gifts, such as candy or baked goods, for their classmates. As they grow into adulthood, the day is commonly celebrated by having a nice meal with friends.
“People will go for lunch, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be on that exact day,” Oquendo adds. “Some may even [exchange] gifts, or things like that, similar to what Christmas could be between friends.”
Founded in 2013, VCSBC unites BC’s Venezuelan community through settlement support and social events, including their Christmas Bazaar. The organization is planning to relaunch their Guayoyo or coffee chat program guiding newcomers in finding employment, purchasing or renting property, and other settlement topics. Their recent fundraisers for Venezuela’s ongoing humanitarian crisis have also been crucial for building community.
“We make the people know that we’re doing [these fundraisers for] these organizations that are helping children in Venezuela,” the treasurer explains. “And the community really comes together.”
For Oquendo, these events highlight their culture’s emphasis on friendliness, which extends to close friends, neighbours and even acquaintances. Prioritizing the value of community, he shares how Venezuelans often form close bonds with those in their neighbourhood.
“In general, you’re very friendly,” he explains, noting how Venezuelans tend to express more physical affection with friends than in North America. “You will live in an area, and you will go to that supermarket, to that bakery, to that store…the daughter or the son of the bakers, they’re your friend.”
Oquendo adds that these connections may even extend beyond close friendships, feeling more like family. Such communities are difficult to establish in BC, as Venezuelan immigrants are spread throughout the province.
Despite these challenges, Oquendo emphasizes that community is created through sustained efforts at connecting with others, including those outside of one’s cultural heritage. He hopes to one day establish a Venezuelan cultural centre where their values can continue to flourish.
“[A place] where you can go and eat Venezuelan food, dance and things like that,” he shares. “I would love that to be part of my legacy for the Venezuelan community of BC.”
Subtle but strong bonds
Friends share an unspoken, implicit connection in Estonian culture, says Erik Kõvamees, a member of the local Estonian community. Kõvamees is the president of the Society for the Advancement of Estonian Studies in Canada, one of the four remaining Estonian societies in BC. The others include the Vancouver Estonian Society, the Estonian Church Foundation, and the Lutheran Congregation.
“The big wave of immigration happened because of World War 2,” the president explains. “Before that, there were Estonians who left Estonia, not because they were forced to, but because they were interested in making their way in the wider world.”
One of these Estonians was the general Johan Pitka, who established an Estonian community in Fort St. James in Northern BC. Drawing from a previous census, Kōvamees estimates that there remains approximately one thousand people of Estonian heritage in BC.
According to him, Estonians understand friendship to be a deep connection. The label of ‘friend’ is not freely given, and there is a distinct difference between a ‘friend’ and an ‘acquaintance.’ He notes, however, that the celebrations are subtle, reflecting the Estonian way of living.
“Everyone’s kind of heard of [Friend’s Day], but it’s not really a big deal, which I think in and of itself is meaningful because here Valentine’s Day is a huge thing,” he shares. “It’s less commercial, less focused on romantic love.”
For Kōvamees, being referred to as an Estonian’s friend is significant, as the label isn’t casually given. Recognizing stereotypes of the culture as reserved, cold and unfriendly, the president shares that Estonian friends subtly express their care through actions or time spent together.
“People who are really good friends, it’s not necessarily obvious to the outsider that they’re really good friends,” he explains. “It’s more of this implicit understanding.”
For more information on the Vancouver Finlandia Club and Finnish House Society, see www.scancentre.org/finland
For more information on the Venezuelan Canadian Society of British Columbia, see www.vcsbc.ca
For more information on the Society for the Advancement of Estonian Studies in Canada, see www.saesc.ca